Our main character. Neurotic, anxious, and a bit snarky. Feels like there should be something more to his life, and he’s going to make it happen, though this might be easier said than done. While James has never had any problems with his “bark”, his “bite” has always left something to be desired, but his friends may help bring him out of that. Lives with his mother, who does social work, and their dog Little Sister. Also co-founded The Filthy F@#$ing Fairies where he acts as guitarist, co-vocalist, and primary lyricist (his talents at all three, however, are frequently brought into question).
Born to a Persian mother and an African-American father, Aiyeese has had to deal with being between worlds, along with her father’s frequent unemployment. Sensitive but strong-willed, she’s best friends with James and thus seems the least willing to put up with his crap. Along with him, she co-founded The Filthy F@#$ing Fairies, where she acts as lead guitarist and primary songwriter. It’s agreed by most that she way outshines James in terms of talent, but both agree a certain something would be missing if the two didn’t have each other to bounce ideas off of.
Raised by her father Cotton after her mother passed away when she was young, Shira blossomed early and to quite a degree. She’s not afraid to speak her mind and often does as she pleases. While it’s implied she’s open to anything and unapologetic about it, she’s recently begun a serious relationship with Koriko. She also acts as vocalist for The Filthy F@#$ing Fairies, and is trying to have more of her (questionable) lyrics be used by James and Aiyeese.
Bubbly and friendly, Koriko has never had a problem being herself. Despite having an open, sexual personality at a very early age, she’s always maintained her innocent nature and doesn’t see anything shameful in what she says or does (which raises some questions about her home life). Has recently been dating Shira, though the two of them still find other women very attractive and often act on it, saying it’s not adultery if they do it together. While Shira’s father has been supportive of their relationship, it’s things like this that still make it awkward for Koriko to be around him.
A wild card if there ever was one, no one’s sure what to make of Lee. While usually friendly, he tends to look at things in a very analytical way, and this often brings his true morality (if he has any) into question. His father, Charlie, runs a business rebuilding old arcade machines, but it’s been implied he was fired from the Pentagon for making doomsday weapons (not out of malice, but boredom). Under no circumstances should you give him caffeine.
Having been a fangirl of comic books and anime most of her life, Shizuko has always been more comfortable in the world of fantasy than reality. Despite what you’d think though, “Shizuko” is not her real name. She’s not even from Japan (she’s from Upstate New York). She merely refuses to be referred to by “Her gaijin slave name”, and so far no one knows what she’s really called. While she appears meek on the outside though, she has a wild imagination and has written numerous slash fics (to James’ eternal horror). She’s finally started to act on her desires though by entering in a semi-serious relationship with Lee.
Born into a well-to-do family, Guy has always had to pretend to be something that he’s not (including straight). Having had enough of this from his folks when he reached adulthood, he began to rebel against them by playing in the all gay male metal band Chain Male for a time. Once his trust kicked in, however, he bought his own record store “Audial Erotic”, and hired James as his first employee. He loathes typical gay stereotypes, but engages in more than he’d care to admit.
Maestro just turned up one day when The Filthy F@#$ing Fairies decided they needed a bass player. Before them, he had done a lot of session and touring musician work, and was used to standing in the background while others took the spotlight. He’s apparently too good at it, because he’s never said a proper word or shown an expression beyond his usual deadpan. Miraculously, everyone seems to understand him with a few plucks of his bass guitar, which he’s rarely seen without.
Panda…is…well, a panda. Shira met him in a music store when the Fairies were looking for a drummer, and he happened to be quite skilled at playing jazz style. Unlike Maestro, he DOES talk, but he only speaks Mandarin Chinese (which, ironically, only Maestro understands). Nobody but James seems perturbed by this though, much to his consternation. It’s only gotten worse since Panda moved into the Fairies’ rehearsal space (i.e. James’ mother’s basement). At least he pays rent though.
First airing on the BBC in 1964, “Trifectica” was created by Programming Director Sir Thaddeus J. Puffinbutt as a way of paying off his gambling debts. It featured VERY cheap special effects (even for the time), horrible writing, ridiculous stories, and blatant product placement DURING proper episodes. Intending to just air it and be done with it, the series has surprisingly taken on a life of its own and remains a camp classic for people in the “Oh Goodie!” universe.
Played with undeserved gravitas by actor Colin Collinson, Captain Baker was MEANT to be the usual dashing hero type. But since the stories in “Trifectica” weren’t usually written with care or talent, he usually came off as an insufferable jackass and a coward within the show. Still, the character is endlessly good natured and has been known to pull solutions out of his ass. As long as no bad reports make it back to headquarters, he should be fine.
Played with weary resignation by actress Abigail Mulligan, Lt. Appeel was the android first mate aboard the USS Trifectica. Being an android, Lt. Appeel was, of course, way smarter and more reasonable than Captain Baker. Within the universe of the show, however, androids had no chance for command positions, and women had even less chance. Since Appeel was both an android and paired with a female chasis (despite being a computer consciousness and technically having no gender), she has the unfortunate task of putting up with Captain Baker’s nonsense.
In the year 1885 AC/DC, the world is in danger of being taken over by the dark forces of bland pop music. The First Church of Rock and Roll has made it their mission to fight back, and Eddie Van Helsing is their premiere agent. Using his trustworthy Frakenstrat guitar, cables blessed in holy water, and silver picks, Eddie will fight against evil with the power of rock! Takes over the “Oh Goodie!” website every Halloween.