There’s a motherfucking sitar.  What the hell am I listening to?

I may be uniquely qualified to review Weezer’s new album “Raditude”.  Unlike a lot of people, I don’t have any romanticized notions about their first two records.  My introduction to the group was 2001’s “Green Album”, and I’m in the minority who thinks “Maladroit” is their best album.  While I thought it was okay I don’t crap myself over their self-titled debut and their so-called masterpiece “Pinkerton”, the latter I find rather unlistenable (though having drunk idiots in college singing along to “El Scorcho” didn’t help I suppose).

I also skipped their last album out of sheer disinterest.  “Make Believe” just didn’t have enough to grab me, and I didn’t particularly like the new wave moments on that record.  And this is coming from a guy whose favorite Rush album is “Power Windows”.

I will say the reason people seem to latch onto Weezer’s first two records apparently have an “honesty” to them that listeners feel isn’t on their records afterwards.  I can’t attest how much “honesty” goes into anybody’s records in the age of irony, but I can say I find Weezer’s lyrics halfway between overly whiny or knowingly trite.

Let’s see which side of the fence “Raditude” falls on.

Opening track “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To” opens with an upbeat acoustic guitar and drum beat, handclappingly so.  Lyrics are about being too nervous going out with a girl and wanting HER to make the first move (ladies, do it, this is a HUGE turn on).  This song fits frontman’s Rivers Cuomo’s usual lyrical M.O. of being shy and down on himself, but this time it’s pared with a rather peppy beat, rather than the trite chord bashing of “Beverly Hills”.

Well okay Weezer, you got my attention.  Let’s see what you got.

“I’m Your Daddy” has what sounds like a drum machine and an octave fuzz.  Did Weezer just do a dance song?  Why am I reminded of “I Was Made For Loving You” by Kiss?  The main riff isn’t bad, but the dance beat kinda kills it for me.  This track was co-written by Dr. Luke, who’s done a lot of work for female pop stars.  Why Weezer is aiming for Katy Perry’s audience I can’t say.  Maybe he should write a song about how gay U R.

“The Girl Got Hot” has some chord grinding and sing along vocals.  This is much more like it.  Lyrics are about Rivers meeting a girl he knew in junior high who grew up and “got hot”.  The Kiss references are starting to pile up, because this has Gene Simmons written all over it.

“Can’t Stop Partying” is another dance song featuring none other than Lil’ Wayne.  I tell ya there are few things as surreal as hearing Rivers Cuomo talking about heading to “da club”.  Even if sung ironically this doesn’t really work.  Lil’ Wayne sounds more natural when he comes in.  In fact, this seems much more like his song than Weezer’s.  I feel like I got grandfathered into a hip hop single on my rock album.

The rhythm of “Put Me Back Together” reminds me of “Now I’m Here” by Queen, but Rivers forgot the echo.  Features include big guitars and Rivers down on himself.  This is more what I expect.

“Trippin’ Down the Freeway” has more chord grinding.  Lyrics are about not giving on your relationship even though things are tough.  Two straight songs in Weezer’s classic format: bright, shiny, and not too whiny.  Okay, we’re back on track.

“Love Is The Answer” has a tabla, chanting, and a sitar.  A motherfucking sitar.  Clearly I spoke too soon.  Where the hell did this come from?  I’m confused.  What the fuck am I listening to?  For the love of God, NEXT TRACK!

“Let It All Hang Out” screeches in your ear from the start and heads right into it from the start.  Phew, just in time.  Lyrics are about leaving behind your stresses and having some fun.  Rivers makes some references to “homies” and “chillin” but there’s no more sitar so I’ll let that slide.

“In The Mall” was written by drummer Pat Wilson, making him the only band member other than Rivers or the producers to write a song.  That’s one thing about this album, I don’t sense the other band members that much.  Weezer has always been Cuomo’s band, but he and the producers fuck around so much on this record the others feel side-lined.  Cuomo is such a Beach Boys fan, maybe he finally made his “Pet Sounds”.  That would explain the fucking sitar.

I’m getting off message.  “In The Mall” has a mean riff and kind of a new wave feel, but not in a bad way.  Good contribution Pat.

“I Don’t Want To Let You Go” opens with an organ before adding a piano, and is Rivers in romantic mode again.  Guitars actually don’t factor in very heavily, aside from a clean guitar solo towards the end.  Kind of a soaring ballad, but it’s not over-produced.

In the end, I’m torn about “Raditude”.  Half of it is actually pretty solid rock songs, but the other half is filled with experiments that don’t really work.  I didn’t listen to the “Red Album” so I can’t say much about it, but I do know it didn’t even go Gold.  It feels like in their panic Weezer didn’t know what to do, so they decided to work with whomever they could and just threw everything against the wall hoping something would stick and get them a hit.

I can’t argue for Weezer’s “honesty”, but I do think they should just be themselves.  I have no clue who they are here.

My rating? Not very good.

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